Father’s Day – Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:7-12

Father’s Day – Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:7-12
By Pastor Lee Hemen
June 18, 2023

Did you have a good father? I had a pretty good dad. He took us fishing, camping, and spent as much time with us as he could. He taught us to be moral, believe in God, and what marital devotion was all about. I still can remember him showing us boys how to cast a salmon egg just right in order to catch the bigger trout in the river. I also remember he was firm on his word and discipline.

Sometimes children can think their parents are unfair or that they do not understand but what I have learned is that parents, especially fathers, do understand and that is why they often have to take the firm stand they do. Too many fathers in our day are AOL (absent without leave) either physically or emotionally or both. Proverbs reminds us that “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law. (Proverbs 29:17-18 NIV)” Let’s discover what it means to be a father.

In our world trying to raise children to be independent critical thinkers, moral, and to follow the Lord has become increasingly hard. It is good to know however that the Scripture is not only filled with examples of how not to be a father but it also gives us good advice on how to be great fathers. We discover that…

Great fathers consistently discipline their children! (Ephesians 6:4 & Hebrews 12:7-9 NIV)

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord… Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

Paul writes, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children”. The wording here refers to a dad who constantly and deliberately tries to enrage or provoke their children into an ungodly reaction. This is not a reference to teasing a child but rather a dad who deliberately and consistently tries to incite their children to react in anger. This could be done through improper parenting where the father constantly degrades their spouse in front of the kids, uses foul language, or involves their children in ungodly activities such as lying, stealing, drug use, or violent behavior. A father can “exasperate” their children when they are not the consistent godly loving example their children need! However, this can also cover inappropriate discipline that is either too harsh or nonexistent. The writer of Hebrews writes that believers should “Endure hardship as discipline”. This teaches us that as children we can think it is a hardship to be disciplined, but in reality, it is a blessing if it is done consistently and correctly! Our discipline in life is “God treating us as sons”! It also reflects the biblical concept that discipline is godly! “For what son is not disciplined by his father?” A lack of consistent discipline by fathers can frustrate a child emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually! Children need parameters in life. They need to know their boundaries. And if they do not have them from their fathers, they can feel unloved and unwanted or illegitimate! “If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.” Children need to feel and know they are loved and one of the ways they do is when they know their boundaries in life because when they do they grow up loving and respecting their fathers! “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it.” Yet more than this, children who are consistently and compassionately disciplined learn self-discipline! “How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!” Children learn discipline when great fathers consistently discipline their children!

My father was a consistent disciplinarian. We knew his “yes” was yes and his “no” was no. We also quickly learned that simply going to our mother to get a different answer did not work. I did not understand my father when he once told me that his discipline of me at the time would hurt him more than it would hurt me. My spanking sure hurt! Yet his words came flooding back when I had to spank my daughter for the first time. It actually did hurt me more than her momentary pain. However, it did not stop me from trying to be the best father I could be. I did not stop disciplining my daughter simply because it momentarily made feel bad. Children learn discipline when great fathers consistently discipline their children!

I’ve learned that life is not always fun. It is not painless or never filled with hurt. An old pastor was quipped, “Life is hard by the yard but a cinch by the inch!” He was correct. Great fathers learn that directing the lives of their children is not a momentary thing. It is a process. We learn from Paul that…

Great fathers keep on keeping on being a father! (Hebrews 12:10-12 NIV)

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

Certain things in life only last a short while. This is why as fathers we should cherish every day we have with our families. Sure you may have suffered from making the wrong choices in life but God is a loving father and through his example teaches us guys how to be the fathers we need to be! Paul writes, “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best”. Training and nurturing your children only last a few years. In fact, most psychologists will tell you that how a child responds to you at 5 years old will be how they respond to you as a teenager! This is why fathers should spend time with their kids. Reading, playing, talking with and listening to them are extremely important if you want your child to be respectful with you later in life. Remember “God disciplines us for our good that we may share in his holiness.” God is a great example to follow as a father. He always looks at the long haul as fathers should and he loves us in spite of ourselves! Fathers should want the best for their children realizing that the investment they make now in the lives of their children will one day reap a great reward! “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” A good life harvest means that fathers must be willing, ready, and able to do the hard day-by-day and moment-by-moment investment in the lives of their children! It is a matter of consistency again. Just as children are not potty trained, know how to walk or immediately feed themselves it is fathers that help them to become the adults they should be! “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.” Godly dads do not complain about having to spend time with their kids. Great fathers keep on keeping on being a father!

I remember the frustration of my father when he sat me down and asked, “How many times am I going to have to ask you to do something before you do it?” I responded, “I guess until it sticks.” To my surprise he reached out and tousled my hair and gently replied, “For your sake I hope not.” Got up and walked away. Some of the greatest moments of my life were spent with my ailing father the last year of his life. We spent the entire summer together. His insights, love, and quiet spirit had a huge impact on me. I learned from him that great fathers keep on keeping on being a father!

Just remember that children learn discipline when great fathers consistently discipline their children! Great fathers keep on keeping on being a father!

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This article is copyrighted © 2023 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.

Fatherly Advice – Proverbs 22:6

Fatherly Advice – Proverbs 22:6 

By Pastor Lee Hemen

June 12, 2022

Father’s Day is coming up real soon and later in the year, on September 11, 2022, the first Sunday after Labor Day we will celebrate National Grandparents Day. Of course, we just celebrated Mother’s Day. When I was younger, like a lot of kids, I wondered out loud when there would be a national celebration for kids, my father replied that “It’s when schools begins in the fall.” Some would say, “Every day is Kid’s Day.” And perhaps it is.

We live in a day and age where children have become almost idolatry for some families. Here’s what I mean: Far too much emphasis is placed on how to make children happy and little is spent on what truly makes a child self-sufficient. Children today are often used by “experts” as educational and political experiments for indoctrination. Yet the Bible speaks very plainly on what truly constitutes a well rounded child rearing. What most families lack today in raising godly kids is consistency, so today, I’m going to take a few moments to give some fatherly advice.

READ: Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NIV84)

What does this mean? I’ve heard this over and over again and I’ve listened to a multitude of sermons and seminars on the subject, but what does it truly mean for us today? New parents I’ve learned usually have a lot of questions about how to raise children. Many think that by giving a child free reign allows them to express their true selves. However, the Scriptures make it quite clear that both adults and children do best when they know their boundaries. Let’s discover some fatherly advice, shall we?

I. Children do best when they know their parameters! (Matthew 5:37)

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. (Matthew 5:37 NIV84)

  1. Jesus understood that people often want to make a million excuses as to why they failed to follow through on something, whether it was being holy or doing their daily chores. Keeping it simple when raising kids works best just as it does with adults. The Hebrews had developed the political skill of word usage. They would declare certain things as “holy” or set apart for God (Corban) just so they could get out of helping out their parents. The Pharisees were notorious for their nonbinding oaths, which were made on the least provocation. They would make all kinds of allowances for mental reservations within their oaths. If they wanted to be relieved of oaths they had made by heaven… by the earth… by Jerusalem, or by one’s own head, they could argue that since God Himself had not been involved their oaths were not binding. Kids can do the exact same thing. The Lord was saying one’s life should be sufficient to back up one’s words. A “yes” always ought to mean “yes”, and a “no” should mean “no”. James seems to have picked up these words of the Lord in his epistle: “Above all, my brothers, do not swear–not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no, or you will be condemned. (James 5:12 NIV84)” I find it interesting that in our day and age there are many who think that you can never tell a child “no”, but this is not realistic because they will face a lot of “no’s” in life. Teaching children to be independent does not begin with telling them “yes” all of the time. In fact, children do best when they know their parameters!

  EXAMPLE: One day, two young mothers were sitting on the front porch of one of their homes watching their children playing in the front yard while they visited. One child kept heading toward the street and one mother being afraid of traffic would get up and go and bring her child back without saying a word. After about the tenth time of doing this the other mother asked, “Why don’t you just tell him ‘no’ when he heads for the street?” The other mother remarked, “Oh I could never do that because I don’t want him to feel negative feelings just because he is curious.” About that time, the other mother’s child headed toward the same street and she simply spoke firmly to him, “NO!” He stopped, turned around, and did not head to the street again. The mom turned to her friend and remarked, “There’s nothing wrong with telling your child ‘no’ now and then, it helps them to know their boundaries.” Children do best when they know their parameters!

There are those who think that by giving their child everything and anything they are making them happy, and while this may be true for the moment what it creates in the long run is unrealistic expectations. Children are like everyone else and are intrinsically selfish. They want food and water when they need it, sweets when they can get them, and their wants and wishes fulfilled immediately. And kids are not stupid; they know how to begin to manipulate their environment, one parent over the other, to suit their own needs. The second piece of fatherly advice I want to give this morning is…

II. Children do best when they are not frustrated! (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 NIV84)

  1. Children can become exasperated by not knowing what is expected of them. Like I just shared, they need no’s to be no and yes’s to be yes. This is also true in how they are given responsibilities. And this begins early in childhood, or it should anyway. Picking up toys, cleaning their room, brushing teeth, or regular bathing is all part of this process. And no, children do not need to be rewarded for doing what is expected of them as part of the family. Just as daily expectations of chores should be a part of every child’s life so should the nurturing and maturation of their understanding of God. Most problems in our society today stem from the basic fact that most families have no core principles that they adhere to, or are at best they are just a mishmash of feel good philosophy. Teen suicides are up because of COVID, now why do you think this is true? Because kids feel left out, neglected, or ostracized when they cannot be around family or friends. Many young teenage boys feel like they cannot do anything right because society has emphasized the opposite sex, unisex, or you can be any sex. Young men have become “exasperated” and when they do, the result can often be self-inflicted harm or violent behavior. Boys are not being raised to be godly men and girls are not taught what it means to be a godly woman. Young girls are taught that it is more important to be empowered rather than learn how to nurture. Children learn how to be parents from their PARENTS! You can exasperate your child by not being consistent in what is expected of them. Children do best when they are not frustrated!

  EXAMPLE: The other day in WinCo, again, I came across a mother and she had a gaggle of children with her; several girls and a little boy. The boy, who was riding in the shopping cart, began to fuss because he didn’t get what he wanted when he wanted it, which was right now. She just kept shopping. His frustration grew but her patience did not seem to wane at all. Finally, however, she stopped shopping, made him look at her, and asked him, “Young man, have you ever gotten you way by fussing at me?” He replied, “No ma’am.” She smiled and told him, “Then sit yourself down and be quiet or you may earn something you do not like.” He did immediately as his mother commanded. I had to laugh because one of her daughters leaned into the cart and remarked, “I told you what mom would do if you kept fussing.” Now those kids knew what was expected of them. Children do best when they are not frustrated!

I have often heard advice on raising kids from the time I was a young parent and into becoming a pastor. One of the first verses of Scripture I learned was “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24 NIV)”, which came the old adage of “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” Many have misused this over the years including those who want to be too permissive, to those who are way too dictatorial. Let’s discover the last piece of fatherly advice that… 

III. Children do best when they are consistently disciplined! (Proverbs 12:1 NIV84)

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1 NIV84)

  1. Wisdom is not gained by knowledge but rather by how you use the knowledge you have gained in life. This is why the writer of Proverbs writes what he does: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Now there are those who declare that we should never call someone stupid, but folks there are a lot of stupid people in the world and the sooner you realize it the better off you will be. I’ve known a lot of knowledgeable people who were not very wise. And parents do their children a disservice by not consistently disciplining them. Notice that I did not say “spanking” them. It’s easy for some parents to give out attaboys but it is way more difficult for them to make their precious children mind their Ps and Qs. This is funny expression that came from British pubs where barkeepers were taught to be aware of the number of pints and quarts they gave out so they could tally a correct bill. Some think it came from sailing vessels where a sailor was to mind his coat (pea coat) collar and his powdered wig braid (called a cue). Wherever it came from far too many kids today cannot discipline themselves because they have never experienced discipline growing up. The Christian word “disciple” comes from the same root word because a disciple was expected to discipline themselves in order to learn from their teachers. Paul, using sportsman language, would declare how this disciplining process took place in his own life by relating: “I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:27 NIV84)” Paul was no masochist but he was disciplined in Jesus. Like a good prizefighter Paul disciplined himself for the ring he faced daily. That’s what good parents do with their children because children do best when they are consistently disciplined!

  EXAMPLE: Far too many in our day and age are not self-disciplined because they were never taught to be. From media, in family interactions, to the non-constraints of a society that teaches anything goes. No one should ever be told “no”, that they do a lousy job, or that they have no morals. When I was at a Vancouver Clinic the other day I overheard a grandmother lamenting about how when her granddaughter was told that she could not act the way she was acting, she spit in her mother’s face. The mother, I guess responded by asking her daughter, “Is that anyway to act?” The grandmother went on to relate that she must have because she never said she was sorry or apologized to her mother. It made me wonder about how the child was disciplined. I’ve learned that if you want children to grow up to be kind adults, they have to realize there are consequences for their bad behavior. Children do best when they are consistently disciplined!

Conclusion:

Children do best when they know their parameters! Children do best when they are not frustrated! Children do best when they are consistently disciplined!

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This article is copyrighted © 2022 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission

The Joy of a Father’s Heart

The Joy of A Father’s Heart
By Pastor Lee Hemen
December 12, 2021

I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart; I will enter His courts with praise! I will say this is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice for He has made me glad! The JOY of the Lord is my strength; it has to be especially now. This is both the happiest day and the saddest day of my life! But as you can see, I think I will focus on the happier part! Oh Lord, my Yahweh thank You for being the Lord You are. Thank You for my daughter, Miriam and of course Yoseph!

A father knows this day will come but he never realizes just how fast it does come. Your daughter is one day playing with your beard, learning to walk, learning the Psalms and singing them sweetly around the house, and the next… she has growing into a fine young woman! Can it be that she is fourteen now? They grow up so fast! This last year she has learned to cook, sew, keep a household, and to manage affairs well like a good Jewish woman should.

Just yesterday she was my little girl. For me, she will always be my little “Ahyawlaw”, my fawn. But then we have found a good man for her, a carpenter, and an established man who is well liked, and has a steady income. His name is Yoseph. Did I mention him before? He is very kind too, which suits me well and is never late for Synagogue and always observes the Sabbath. He is a godly man. He will make my little Miriam a fine husband, and who knows? Soon perhaps I will have more little ones crawling all over their “Abbie!” Yes! Today is both a sad day and a fine day! A day the Lord has truly made! I think I will focus on the fine part! Imagine, my little Miriam, married?

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Today is a miserable day! A sad cloudy dark abysmal day! A bleak day! A day that no man should go through, not even Job! First, Yoseph comes to me and says he is not sure he desires to wed our Miriam. I am shocked, I am angered, and my wife is in tears, he is embarrassed. I can see it all over his face. He hardly can look at me.

“Yoseph,” I ask him, “what is wrong?” Why has my little Miriam displeased you so? Is she too lazy? Is she too small and not strong enough to bear you fine strong children? Is she a flighty woman, not thinking of her household? “No,” he says. “She is none of that.” In fact, she is perfect, but did I “know something about her that I had not told him before?” “What?” I demanded. What did he mean?

Then the horrible truth came from his lips. Miriam is with child! How could this be? At first, I accused Yoseph of deception, then of being foul with his words. He rebutted that his actions with Miriam were always honorable. I ordered him to leave my house. How could he say such thing about my little Ahyawlaw, my Miriam, my little, beautiful, wonderful daughter?

Then she came into the room where I was inwardly weeping, and calmly took my hand. She looked into my eyes and confided in me that indeed it was true. She is with child. She had told Yoseph herself and being an honorable man, he was seeking to do this quietly as to not cause problems for her. I could not look at her. Who had done this foul thing to her, to us, to her mother and me? We would be seen in town as horrible parents! A laughingstock! They would think that some Roman soldier had seduced her! What would we do? What would she do? Perhaps she could go visit her Aunt Elizabeth.

She then said something so sad, yet so unbelievable to me that at first, I could not understand her words. They came out of her mouth, but they seemed like gibberish to me. Calmly she confided that an angel of God, Gabriel, had come to her and related that she would be a mother of a special child. The Holy Spirit of God, he promised, would come upon her and she would conceive a male child. She was to make sure to call Him “Yeshua.” The angel told her that “He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Yacob forever; his kingdom will never end.” He would be the Savior of His people Israel. The Messiah!

I did not want to believe her. I thought her mad. I asked her if God’s angels had a habit of introducing themselves to young Hebrew women on a first name basis. But then I saw her calmness. Her confidence and steadfastness radiated from her face, no longer a little girl stood in front of her father, she was a blessed beautiful woman of God.

Then today, a message came from my brother Zachariah. His wife Elizabeth is with child as well! Now, my brother is older than me! And his old barren wife Elizabeth to be pregnant is a miracle, right? Did I mention Elizabeth is OLD? So, then I encouraged Miriam to get some of her things together to go and visit Elizabeth because not only would she know what to do, and she could help, but if Elizabeth was going to give birth, then what had occurred with Miriam was for a reason, but what exactly? And what will we do with a pregnant young unmarried woman in a Hebrew village?

Yes, today is a horrible day? Isn’t Lord? Surely You can understand a father’s hurt for his daughter? Now, I know why Yoseph was so hurt…

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Today is one of those days you cannot describe. Everything is a mess in my life, my wife’s life, and in the lives of Miriam and Yoseph. Yet it is a good day as well. Can you believe it? Yoseph came back to me last week to talk again about Miriam. Yes, they are going to be married! How you ask? Yoseph came to me within a few days to humbly, yes humbly, to ask my forgiveness and for permission to be the husband of Miriam again! I told him that we had sent her to Elizabeth and Zechariah but that she would be home soon. At first I was angry. I was hurt. I was the father of a daughter that something was happening to that I could not explain! He could not possibly know what I was going through!

Yes, yes, he knew all about it but how could he know so much? Who made him aware of what God was supposedly doing in the life of my only daughter? Then he related to me that he too had been visited by Yahweh’s messenger. He related that the angel visited him in a dream and told him, “Yoseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Miriam home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Yeshua, because he will save his people from their sins.” He hurried off to make arraignments to go and tell Miriam as soon as she returned.

Now today, TODAY, they both come to me saying that because of this decree from Caesar they have to journey to Bethlehem! Now! At this time of the year! And she is with child and could give birth anytime! Yet Yoseph was adamant as was Miriam. I had to let them go, didn’t I? We could not defy the Romans.

My little daughter, my new son-in-law, and perhaps my new grandchild all journeying over bandit infested highways. Such a long dusty rock-strewn way, well over sixty or seventy stradia! But You, Lord, You will watch over them and keep them safe? Help Miriam with her birth, dear Lord. Help Miriam find a safe comfortable place. Watch over Yoseph and help him to be a good husband and father. Find them someone who will help Miriam!

He hugged me. And Miriam, my little Miriam, my Ahyawlaw, she stood on her tiptoes, cupped my head in her delicate hands, reached her little face to mine, and kissed me right here on my cheek. She whispered, “Abba, it will be okay. Do not worry. God is watching over us. I carry His child.” Children, what do they know? There are so many dangers in the world. So many things can happen.

Then they walked out of the house, down the road, and over the small hill over there and were gone to Bethlehem. My Miriam, my Ahyawlaw, my little girl – gone. She is now a wife and soon to be a mother of a baby boy and my first grandchild, my first grandchild! Who would have believed such things? Oh Lord God, please keep Ahyawlaw safe for her “Abba. The joy of the Lord will be my strength! The joy of the Lord will be everyone’s strength!

This article is copyrighted © 2021 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.

As Silent Nights Go

As Silent Nights Go
By Pastor Lee Hemen
December 19, 2020

As silent nights go, it was nothing new;
Only noted by a chosen few.
The evening breeze blew soft that night,
And stars twinkled in heavenly delight.
    
Shepherds watched their flocks in fields,
Covered themselves from the cold to shield.
While in a little town in a manger lay,
A small baby boy tucked in soft brown hay.

Near his crude crib his father knelt,
His young mother in wonder felt;
Her son so tiny chosen to be,
The one who’d come to set captives free.

Back in the fields angels sing,
Hallelujahs to the Godly king!
Born that day in the tiny town,
A baby wears a heavenly crown.

The shepherds rush to the manger scene,
To tell the parents of what they’d seen.
The mother wonders at what it meant,
About her son that God has sent.

How could it be that one so small,
Born in a simple manger stall,
Could be the savior of all mankind
That even wise men would seek to find?

And yet the carols we still sing,
Of the baby born a heavenly king.
To redeem us one and all,
And rescue us from our sinful fall.

As silent nights go, it was nothing new,
Only noted by a chosen few.
The evening breeze blew soft that night,
And stars twinkled in heavenly delight.
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This article is copyrighted © 2020 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen, and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.

Reflections on 2 Corinthians 9:6-15 – Thanks–giving

Reflections on 2 Corinthians 9:6-15 – Thanks–giving
By Lee Hemen (Retired Pastor)
November 26, 2020

“Since the “Mayflower” had left England nine weeks behind schedule, the New World’s harsh weather threatened their very survival… Winter took its toll. Journal entries feature the same melancholy theme week after week, for months on end: “… Aboute noone, it began to raine … at night, it did freeze & snow … still the cold weather continued … very wet and rainy, with the greatest gusts of wind ever we saw … frost and foule weather hindered us much; this time of the yeare seldom could we worke half the week.” That winter more than half the heads of households perished. Aboard ship only five of eighteen wives lived through the ravages of scurvy, pneumonia, and tuberculosis. An entry for March 24th reads: “This month thirteen of our number die. And in three months past dies halfe our company … Of a hundred persons, scarce fifty remain, the living scarce able to bury the dead.”

“How could the Pilgrims talk about thanksgiving in the midst of life’s most difficult trials?” we wonder. Why not just curse God and die? They gave thanks for God’s presence in their adversities because they knew that struggles did not have to make them bitter; struggles could make them better. These remaining Pilgrim daughters and sons, mothers and fathers, placed their trust in their God and laid the enduring foundations of a nation. Thanksgiving Day, 1621, did not just celebrate wild turkey and Indian corn; it celebrated the human spirit reaching out to God in gratitude for the blessings the Pilgrims still did possess. (Joyful Heart Ministries, written by Dr. Ralph F. Wilson)

In today’s passage we see that Paul spoke about the fact that when a believer’s life is lived to bring glory and honor to God, then their lives “…will result in thanksgiving to God.” It is a matter of spiritual reciprocity with God. You reap spiritually from God in your life what you sow spiritually in your life.

READ: 2 Corinthians 9:6-15

I am not going to talk to you about tithing this morning, rather, I am going to share with you about the reward of generosity in life. The Pilgrims knew what this meant. So did the early church. Why have we lost sight of this vital Christian virtue that results in a life of thanks–giving? Paul shares with us in several arenas of life that can help us to recapture a true spirit of generosity and live a wonderful life full of thanks–giving to God. First, Paul knew that thanks–giving —

I. Is Not the Result of Outward Circumstances but Inward Dependency Upon God! (vv. 6-8)

1. Spiritual fires flamed with a fan of false piety result in burned out embers and bummed out believers!
   1) The greedy partner who places restriction after restriction on the other partner burdens them by irrational expectations! Greed destroys freedom. Hoarding what is ours, running scared, giving only under pressure, we become smaller and smaller people, and God has less and less access to be able to do good to us and through us. Spiritual dependency is the soil in which spiritual freedom grows. God never restricts us. As a matter of fact he has given us freedom! Paul wrote: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free… But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.” (Gal 5:1&15) Christians are to be spiritual partners with God.
   2) This is why Paul states, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you (Why?) so that in all things at all times, having all you need, you will abound in every good work!” The Christian is to be dependent upon God and God alone! God is able to all things through Jesus in our lives! (Phil 4:13) That describes our partnership!
   EXAMPLE: Remember the savings and loans scandals? People made outrageous claims and investments went bad. What was at the heart of this was not just dishonesty but also greed. People wanted something for nothing. There is no such thing. Neither can a person have a fast food faith. Dependence on God is the result of time spent with Him. God is able to make all grace abound to us when we invest our lives in Him! We decide to be God’s partner. As one old sage put it, “You get what you pay for!” Paul said, “You reap what you sow.”

It is easy for people to see what kind of faith we have. If we are dependent upon God then we reflect the kind of faith that God desires. Paul knew that thanks–giving —

II. Is Displayed by A Believer’s Spiritual Growth! (vv. 9-11)

1. Generosity in the life of a believer should ring out like the sound of a dinner bell at the end of the day which says with every note, “Come and get it!”
   1) What Paul is doing is saying that Christians should tell the truth with their whole life. If the Corinthians do not do what they said they were going to do, they will not be loved less, but the real truth will be known about them! Paul wants them to understand that there isn’t going to be some sort of face-saving cover-up of the circumstances!
   2) Paul tried to tell the Corinthians that as they lived their lives generously God would “supply… increase… and enlarge” their spiritual harvest of “righteousness!” What a promise! However, the converse is true as well! As a matter of fact Paul would relate “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit’s fire…” (1 Thess 5:18&19) Giving thanks in all circumstances describes a believer’s generosity in life!
   EXAMPLE: I know you are aware of the widespread discussions of dysfunctional families, co-dependency, and systems of lies that are built to keep reputations from being soiled. Some adult member of a family is an alcoholic, for instance, and the family covers the tracks, pretending none of it is true. The term ‘co-dependent’ was coined to describe systems of lies developed by families that want to be thought well of. Paul, however, is not going to set up any reputation-protection systems for the Corinthian Christians. Their reputation is going to be based on what they displayed in life, not on what they said or what they want people to think about them! If they want to be thought of as generous, it ought to be because they are generous, not because they once said they would be!
   3) Whatever you struggle with in your life –giving, bible reading, church attendance, daily devotions — is not because these things are untrue or not spiritually valid it is because they are not generously lived out in our lives! What kind of thanks–giving do you display to others? Where is your spiritual growth? Are your riches from God or something else?

These are no idle questions. These are of extreme importance. The reason is obvious — what others see in you is how they see Jesus in the world today! Why is that? Because Paul knew that thanks–giving —

III. In A Believer’s Life Can Lead Others to Faith! (vv. 12-15)

1. Spiritual spillage in us results in the spectators around us getting wet!
   1) The most important part of this whole section is when Paul literally shouts, “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” (v. 15) This is the foundation for everything Paul says. It is why the believer can be generous in life, and how they can grow in Christ. And it is how we can lead others to faith in Jesus.
   2) We do not do good works to be saved. We do good things from the overflow of God’s love in our lives! This is why some believers have very little to show for what God has done. There is no overflow! Not even a trickle or a drip! This is exactly what Paul is speaking about in verses 12-14! Spiritual spillage results in others getting wonderfully wet!
   3) Paul had encouraged the Corinthians earlier by reminding them that God’s grace was “for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.” (2 Cor 4:15) Yet we see that they had simply quit! What had happened to them? They no longer overflowed with thanksgiving! In fact they had become bitter towards Paul, their mentor and friend! And they knew why! Paul would later encourage them by asking them to “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test?” (2 Cor 13:5) WOW! There was a kink in their spiritual pipe!
   EXAMPLE: Ever see someone do a belly-flop into a pool on purpose? Why do they do that? (To get others wet!) When I first started here I baptized a couple. When I asked them why they accepted Christ and wanted to follow through in baptism they both stated it was because of what they had seen in the lives of their Christian friends! As the husband put it, “When I was around them, I could not help but get excited and want to know more about Jesus!” Christians should splash the Holy Spirit all over those around them until the spectators have to either get a towel to dry off or join in by jumping into the pool!

CONCLUSION:

Like the old poem states: “I’d rather see a sermon any day, than hear one.” Paul knew this to be true. What kind of sermon do you preach to others around you about your faith? About your God? About Jesus Christ? Christians do not live their lives in a void. Each of us are part of the community we live in. Paul encouraged his readers to be dependent upon God, to grow in their spirituality, and to live lives that displayed their real faith. Doing this he said would “result in expressions of thanks to God” in the community where they lived! That is thanks–giving.

This article is copyrighted © 2020 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen, and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.

Be bold not to be embittered!

Be bold not to be embittered!

By Pastor Lee Hemen

November 22, 2018

 

I have always marveled at how embittered people hang onto to their bitterness like a protective cloak or badge of self-righteousness. They reason that they deserve to be bitter is because of past hurts that are often ones they never experienced themselves. It reminds me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings whose whole world and life’s focus revolved around a shiny golden ring. He ended up getting burned by it.

 

Thankfulness is a trait that one has to actually conjure up from within one’s self. You have to actually think about what you are thankful for and forget the past that wants you to cling to it like an addict to their drug of choice. There is a reason that a thankful heart is a happy heart. It purposefully forgets about itself and takes a positive step into the future. It realizes that all things come from God whether it is the good, the bad, or the ugly in life. And one can either remain stuck focusing on the ugliness or work to decide to head to the good that God offers us.

 

Life is precious and can be wasted when we embitter ourselves and remain wrapped in our cloak of self-pity and righteousness. Instead look for the joy of life, which I believe begins with the Lord, and allow the fruit of thankfulness to grow and bubble up in your heart today.

 

Life is tough by its very nature but life can also be a joyous journey of thankfulness. You decide to allow God in and he will fill your life with the joy you need for each day. The joy of the Lord can be your strength and you can learn to be thankful in all situations that life throws your way.

 

Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Jealousy in marriage is dangerous

Jealousy in marriage is dangerous
By Pastor Lee Hemen
October 2, 2018

Unwarranted jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions known to man. We find it in the Bible when King Saul became jealous over the friendship his son Jonathan had with the future King David: “Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? (1 Samuel 20:30 NIV)” Jealousy usually comes from a deep seated insecurity of one’s self. This was Saul’s problem. He saw his own weaknesses and projected them on his own son and David who enjoyed a deep friendship with one another.

I remember well a friend who had a beautiful wife. She was one of those individuals that when she walked into a room everyone turned and looked because of the way she carried herself. He confided in me that at one time he struggled with jealousy concerning his wife because of how other men would look at her. But he had overcome his unfounded jealousy. I asked him how. He remarked that he realized that being jealous of his wife for something that she had no control over and that in fact he found very appealing was childish. He realized his emotions came from his own insecurity of how he viewed himself. He found that when he accepted himself as a man, confessed his sin, and sought the help of his wife and others that he could find pride and joy in his wife and was no longer jealous.

Personal guilt caused from past events or personal experience in the person’s life is usually the percolating cause for the insecurity of jealousy. Cheating parents or divorce experienced as a child. And so if this happened to them before it will happen to them again. Jealousy usually manifests itself because the person feels like they can’t control events or individuals in their lives and feel the need to be able to. The person feels neglected like they did as a child and lashes out with jealousy in an attempt to control their surroundings. And of course no one can.

The destructive behavior of jealousy when found within a marriage usually does not end well. Its root cause is the same as found with King Saul: deep seated insecurity. Usually because the person who is jealous knows their own weaknesses and they began to think their spouse is guilty of the same weak behavior. It tells their innocent spouse that they are not to be trusted. The spouse soon begins to feel they cannot do anything or their jealous significant other will suspect them or others around them.

Can there be good jealousy? Sure if it one’s jealous over their relationship with God and they desire it to be stronger. But jealousy within a marriage is self destructive, hurtful, and harmful. Counseling to get to the root issues of why the person is jealous can help. The sin of jealousy is a danger to the foundation of trust within a marriage. How we view ourselves and our relationship with the Lord can conquer the sin of jealousy if we want it to. The choice is ours to make.

David De Hann wrote that “Discontent, jealousy, bitterness, resentment, defensiveness, touchiness, and ingratitude are the dispositions that ruin our marriages, wither our children, alienate our friends, and embitter every life—including our own. It’s easy to defend our bad moods and to slide into deception and hypocrisy. But we must guard our hearts against such destructive attitudes. When they arise, we need to confess them, let them go, and experience God’s forgiveness.” The first place to destroy jealousy is to immediately confess it and its destructive behavior in your life to the Lord and apologize to your spouse for making them feel untrustworthy. Begin to set up how they can help you to overcome your jealousy through prayer, communication, and trust. Seek the help of a good counselor. Reestablish quiet moments with God and your spouse. Remember it isn’t others who make you jealous, you decide to be or not.
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This article is copyrighted © 2018 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen, and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.