Tag Archives: fathers

Father’s Day – Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:7-12

Father’s Day – Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:7-12
By Pastor Lee Hemen
June 17, 2018

Did you have a good father? I had a pretty good dad. He took us fishing, camping, and spent as much time with us as he could. He taught us to be moral, believe in God, and what marital devotion was all about. I still can remember him showing us boys how to cast a salmon egg just right in order to catch the bigger trout in the river. I also remember he was firm on his word and discipline.

Sometimes children can think their parents are unfair or that they do not understand but what I have learned is that parents, especially fathers, do understand and that is why they often have to take the firm stand they do. Too many fathers in our day are AOL (absent without leave) either physically or emotionally or both. Proverbs reminds us that “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law. (Proverbs 29:17-18 NIV)” Let’s discover what it means to be a father…

READ: Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:7-12

In our world trying to raise children to be independent critical thinkers, moral, and to follow the Lord has become increasingly hard. It is good to know however that the Scripture is not only filled with examples of how not to be a father but it also gives us good advice on how to be great fathers. We discover that…

I. Great fathers consistently discipline their children! (Ephesians 6:4 & Hebrews 12:7-9 NIV)

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord… Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

1. Paul writes, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children”. The wording here refers to a dad who constantly and deliberately tries to enrage or provoke their children into an ungodly reaction. This is not a reference to teasing a child but rather a dad who deliberately and consistently tries to incite their children to react in anger. This could be done through improper parenting where the father constantly degrades their spouse in front of the kids, uses foul language, or involves their children in ungodly activities such as lying, stealing, drug use, or violent behavior. A father can “exasperate” their children when they are not the consistent godly loving example their children need! However, this can also cover inappropriate discipline that is either too harsh or nonexistent. The writer of Hebrews writes that believers should “Endure hardship as discipline”. This teaches us that as children we can think it is a hardship to be disciplined, but in reality it is a blessing if it is done consistently and correctly! Our discipline in life is “God treating us as sons”! It also reflects the biblical concept that discipline is godly! “For what son is not disciplined by his father?” A lack of consistent discipline by fathers can frustrate a child emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually! Children need parameters in life. They need to know their boundaries. And if they do not have them from their fathers they can feel unloved and unwanted or illegitimate! “If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.” Children need to feel and know they are loved and one of the ways they do is when they know their boundaries in life because when they do they grow up loving and respecting their fathers! “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it.” Yet more than this, children who are consistently and compassionately disciplined learn self-discipline! “How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!” Children learn discipline when great fathers consistently discipline their children!

EXAMPLE: My father was a consistent disciplinarian. We knew his “yes” was yes and his “no” was no. We also quickly learned that simply going to our mother to get a different answer did not work. I did not understand my father when he once told me that his discipline of me at the time would hurt him more than it would hurt me. My spanking sure hurt! Yet his words came flooding back when I had to spank my daughter for the first time. It actually did hurt me more than her momentary pain. However it did not stop me from trying to be the best father I could be. I did not stop disciplining my daughter simply because it momentarily made feel bad. Children learn discipline when great fathers consistently discipline their children!

I’ve learned that life is not always fun. It is not painless or never filled with hurt. An old pastor was quipped, “Life is hard by the yard but a cinch by the inch!” He was correct. Great fathers learn that directing the lives of their children is not a momentary thing. It is a process. We learn from Paul that…

II. Great fathers keep on keeping on being a father! (Hebrews 12:10-12 NIV)

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

1. Certain things in life only last a short while. This is why as fathers we should cherish every day we have with our families. Sure you may have suffered from making the wrong choices in life but God is a loving father and through his example teaches us guys how to be the fathers we need to be! Paul writes, “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best”. Training and nurturing your children only lasts a few years. In fact most psychologists will tell you that how a child responds to you at 5 years old will be how they respond to you as a teenager! This is why fathers should spend time with their kids. Reading, playing, talking with and listening to them are extremely important if you want your child to be respectful with you later in life. Remember “God disciplines us for our good that we may share in his holiness.” God is a great example to follow as a father. He always looks at the long haul as fathers should and he loves us in spite of ourselves! Fathers should want the best for their children realizing that the investment they make now in the lives of their children will one day reap a great reward! “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” A good life harvest means that fathers must be willing, ready, and able to do the hard day-by-day and moment-by-moment investment in the lives of their children! It is a matter of consistency again. Just as children are not potty trained, know how to walk or immediately feed themselves it is fathers that help them to become the adults they should be! “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.” Godly dads do not complain about having to spend time with their kids. Great fathers keep on keeping on being a father!

EXAMPLE: I remember the frustration of my father when he sat me down and asked, “How many times am I going to have to ask you to do something before you do it?” I responded, “I guess until it sticks.” To my surprise he reached out and tousled my hair and gently replied, “For your sake I hope not.” Got up and walked away. Some of the greatest moments of my life were spent with my ailing father the last year of his life. We spent the entire summer together. His insights, love, and quiet spirit had a huge impact on me. I learned from him that great fathers keep on keeping on being a father!


Children learn discipline when great fathers consistently discipline their children! Great fathers keep on keeping on being a father!
This article is copyrighted © 2018 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen, and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.


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Christmas Is About Three Fathers…

Christmas Is About three Fathers…
By Pastor Lee Hemen
December 25, 2016

The other day as I was changing the diaper of my baby granddaughter it all of sudden hit me that Christmas is about so much more than a baby boy. It is about fathers as well. In fact it is about three of them that I know of. First, I cannot but wonder about the father of Mary who watched as his little pregnant daughter walked slowly down the dusty road leaving Nazareth. The trip would not be long by today’s standards but a huge undertaking for a new couple. Food, clothes, and necessities for a new baby and of course her care had to be carried. We forget people usually did not live past their 40s during this time and at a distance of about 89 miles would be a hard journey. I wonder if he looked at the night sky full of stars noticing that the one which shown brightest was in the sky near the place where his daughter journeyed to and thought about her. Was she safe? Had she given birth? Was Joseph taking care of her? Was the baby born healthy and strong? I am sure this father worried about his daughter so far away from home giving birth for the first time. Loving fathers are like that.

The second father I thought of was Joseph. Here he was a father for the first time, far from home town himself, and the only spot he could find for his pregnant wife was a stall for sheep and goats. It was comfortable at least, with some new hay for Mary to spread a cloak down. But now the baby, his baby, their baby was going to be born. I am sure growing up in a small farming community like Nazareth Joseph had watched siblings, other family members, or friends’ children being born. Certainly he watched as sheep gave birth. But now it would be his bride and his child. He could place the baby in the clean swaddling clothes they brought from Nazareth with some of the new hay in the feeding trough. I wonder as Joseph looked up at the stars shining in the night sky if he realized all the work being a father entailed? The mentoring, the training, the discipline, devotion, and the imparting of the love of God, would he be up to it all? As he looked at his little wife did he wonder at his role in being the father of the Messiah? I am sure he did and so much more because loving fathers are like that.

The third and final father I thought of was God himself. The mystery, the shear wonder, and the amazing thing God the father had decided to do since the beginning of all creation was about to occur. I stand in utter awe thinking about the fact that this was God the father’s plan all along: To come himself in the form of a human baby, born to a young Hebrew couple from a small village, in small stable on such a silent night. The birth as amazing as it truly is, is just a moment in time and fades in stature to the cruel death he would willingly face; a death that would become the sacrifice for all of our sin for those who believe and even those who do not. I wonder that as the stars danced in the sky he had created and as the young woman cried in the pains of childbirth if God the Father did not smile as his plan was being born. It makes me smile. I do not think he worried about anything at all, after all he foreordained it all. He had predetermined that on this particular night that this young couple would give birth, well, to him! He had told them both it would happen just as he knew it would and it did. As angels sang, shepherds trembled, Wisemen wandered, and mad kings plotted the plan of God the Father came together perfectly. The plans of our loving Father are like that.

Merry Christmas!

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Rebellion: A path to ruin! – Micah 1:1-9; 2:1-4a

Rebellion: A path to ruin! – Micah 1:1-9; 2:1-4a
By Pastor Lee Hemen
June 16, 2013 AM

Susan was a beautiful, intelligent young woman with a bright future ahead of her. She started spending time with an on-the-edge group from work. Her father tried to warn her of her choices, but she refused to listen, thinking she knew what was best for her life. At a party she should never have attended, Susan made a tragic decision. A young man she wanted to impress gave her a taste of a dangerous drug known as Meth. Her immediate addiction took a devastating toll on every facet of her life. One year later the once beautiful girl was not heading up the corporate ladder but off to prison. Her teeth were rotting, her complexion was ruined, her hair was thin, and she was near starvation. She would have given anything to go back and make different decisions for her life.

Few adults like to be told what to do. Many prefer to reject authority, especially any that limits their freedom. They want to choose what to do and when they will do it. Many among us go even further. They delight in rebelling against God and His law. Each new generation must learn an important lesson the hard way: We cannot find fulfillment by rejecting God’s authority over our lives. God gives us His laws to protect and guide us. He wants us to have an abundant life filled with the joy of knowing Him and serving others. When we rebel against those laws, we suffer the consequences He wants to shield us from in our lives. When we decide to do our own thing, it is rebellion: a path to ruin! Let’s discover how rebellion is a path to ruin…

READ: Micah 1:1-9; 2:1-4a

We learned that if our father asked us to do something, he expected us to respond right away. To ignore his request or to refuse was an act of disobedience. There would be consequences for doing so. The nations of Israel and Judah forgot the Lord and refused to submit to His will. They rejected His laws and pursued sinful worldly pleasures. Like many today, they thought they could rebel against the Lord without paying a price. God sent Micah to warn people that their rebellion would have inevitable consequences and to call them to repent before it was too late. We read about…

I. God’s response to rebellion! (Vv. 1:1-5)

1. The name Micah means, “Who is like Yahweh?” He was a contemporary of Isaiah and prophesied around 735-700 B.C. not much is known about this prophet’s personal life. His hometown of Moresheth-gath (1:14), was 25 miles southwest of Jerusalem. Micah’s prophecy is the word of the Lord. He was not speaking his thoughts but revealing God’s message. Samaria and Jerusalem were the respective capitals of Israel and Judah in Micah’s day. The division of territories and dual thrones occurred following the death of Solomon. Micah spoke about Israel; but like Isaiah, he primarily focused on the Southern Kingdom of Judah. The Bible offers timeless messages for every generation. God is the same and sinful human beings are the same. Advancement has been made in information and technology but no improvement in basic human nature. People still reject the authority of a holy God and rebel against His will and laws. Micah painted a scene depicting the Lord God as a Judge with all the peoples of the earth as jury. The case was being made against Israel and Judah for their failure to obey the Lord. He would act as a witness against the rebellious kingdoms. The Lord declared He would leave His place (the holy of holies or heaven) and come down to trample the heights of the earth. God’s arrival would mean judgment and destruction for the disobedient. The coming of the Lord in anger warned sinners to repent. Sending Micah to warn the people of impending judgment was an act of mercy, giving sinners one more opportunity to repent before it was too late. Mountains and valleys represent the highest and lowest points on earth. Taken together they represent everything in the land. The Lord, however, can melt the mountains and split the valleys. These verbal images display the foolishness of opposing the Lord. “All this is because of Jacob’s transgression, because of the sins of the house of Israel.” It is God’s response to rebellion!

EXAMPLE: The listeners would ask, “What is Jacob’s transgression?” Micah responded, “Is it not Samaria? What is Judah’s high place? Is it not Jerusalem?” The high place was an elevated area where the people worshiped the Lord (2 Chronicles 33:17). In times of apostasy, however, these became sites of idolatry and the worship of false gods and goddesses (1 Kings 11:7). Jerusalem should have been a place where the Lord was worshiped, but had become another high place where idols were served. The leaders of both Samaria and Judah had set ungodly examples of idolatry and disobedience to the law. Do you think this could be true of America today? What are some of the high places our leaders have established? What do some believers worship today? We can be sure that the same God who punished sinful nations in the past will punish sinful nations in the present and future. Any nation that refuses to honor the Lord and His laws will eventually suffer the consequences just as Israel and Judah did. However, it is also true of disobedient believers as well! Those who rebel against the Lord will experience God’s discipline. It can be severe, depending on the depth of the rebellion; but it is always a redemptive act of a loving Father.

The message of Micah for Israel and Judah in the eighth century B.C. is relevant for those of us living in America in the 21st century. The Lord wants us to learn from the mistakes of the past so we will not repeat them and suffer similar consequences. Rebellion is a path to ruin for nations and individuals. Let’s see what Micah tells us about the…

II. Results of rebellion against God! (Vv. 1:6-9)

1. Micah predicted the destruction of Samaria, capital of the Northern Kingdom of Israel. Israel never had a godly king and never experienced a spiritual revival. Israel fell in 722 B.C. when Assyria invaded and left Samaria in a heap of ruins (2 Kings 17:1-5). Micah predicted, “Therefore I will make Samaria a heap of rubble, a place for planting vineyards. I will pour her stones into the valley and lay bare her foundations.” Idolatry was the chief sin of Israel. God would cause Assyria to do what Israel should have done—smash her carved images and destroy all of her idols. The reference to prostitute has a double meaning. It probably refers to the cultic prostitutes who served at the pagan shrines. Symbolically Israel was a prostitute when its people abandoned God (their true Husband) and went after other gods. Therefore, “All her idols will be broken to pieces; all her temple gifts will be burned with fire; I will destroy all her images. Since she gathered her gifts from the wages of prostitutes, as the wages of prostitutes they will again be used.” However, the wages of their prostitution would be used by the invading Assyrians, because the money taken by Assyria in its victory would be used to deport and enslave the Israelites! Micah’s response was to “weep and wail” and to “go about barefoot and naked.” He would “howl like a jackal and moan like an owl” in his grief! Her “wound is incurable” refers to the certain judgment of God on Israel. The sin and resulting judgment was certain because Israel would not repent. Israel’s sinful influence affected Judah as well. Judah’s idolatry would bring the nation to the brink of destruction, also by Assyria. The Assyrian armies would march to the gate of Jerusalem and only the repentance and the godly leadership of Hezekiah saved Judah from Assyria (2 Kings 18–19)! It was the result of rebellion against God!

EXAMPLE: The worship of idols in some parts of the world today includes the use of images. However, idolatry in most developed countries like ours is more subtle. We may not carve images to our gods, but whatever is supremely important to a person is an idol. My father used to warn, “Be careful what you wish for, it just might come true!” Relationships, money, fame, education, power, and pleasure continue to be wished for or worshiped by many. These things are not evil or bad in of themselves; however, Christians living in the world are sometimes influenced more by these things rather than their faith in Christ. We must realize God still disciplines His people and the discipline can be severe. We must recognize the power of bad company and maintain obedience with a proper fear or respect for the holiness of God. Otherwise, we too can face the results of our rebellion against God!

The Lord identified idolatry as the primary sin of the nation. The many idols demonstrated a rejection of God’s commandments, and He promised they would be destroyed. In Micah 1:8–2:13, the prophet took on the role of a mourner in anticipation of devastating judgment on the people of Israel and Judah. He called on the sinful inhabitants of various cities to join him in mourning for their sins. Otherwise, they would…

III. Suffer the ruin of rebellion! (Vv. 2:1-4a)

1. Have you ever suffered from another’s evil schemes or plans? Micah described people with hearts and minds focused on evil plans. These people were deliberate in their desire to do harm to others. Micah laments, “Woe to those who plan iniquity, to those who plot evil on their beds! At morning’s light they carry it out because it is in their power to do it.” Wow! These folks plotted evil before they slept, and then the first thing they did in the morning was carry it out! These wicked plotters used surprise to overpower their victims. Micah focused on the mind, where all sin originates. The mind conceives and gives birth to sin! James, Jesus’ brother wrote that, “but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death!” (James 1:14-15 NIV) Micah identified greed as the source of many sinful acts in his day. Hasn’t changed much has it? The wicked coveted the fields, houses, and inheritance of others. Some folks loaned others money and then demanded payment when they knew the borrower would have to default. The account of King Ahab lying about Naboth to steal his vineyard (1 Kings 21) is an example of how widespread these abuses became. Micah related, “Therefore, the LORD says: ‘I am planning disaster against this people, from which you cannot save yourselves. You will no longer walk proudly, for it will be a time of calamity.’” God’s judgment would be inescapable and would involve bondage. The neck was the place where yokes were placed, implying restraint. God tells Micah to prophesy that, “In that day men will ridicule you; they will taunt you with this mournful song: ‘We are utterly ruined; my people’s possession is divided up. He takes it from me! He assigns our fields to traitors.’” Pride is the root of arrogant disregard for the rights of others and of rebellious rejection of God’s authority. Those who we once thought of as our friends will deride us in our suffering! God promised an evil time when His people would no longer walk so proudly. Perhaps, America is suffering or will suffer from believer’s being so arrogant and prideful? We can suffer from the ruin of our rebellion!

EXAMPLE: One of the worst punishments I ever received from my father was when he caught me planning to get even with my brother Ed. He told me while it was not right what Ed did, my scheming to get even was worse because I was plotting evil against my own brother. Crime is the work of professional criminals and amateurs who plot evil against innocent victims. Each day robberies, rapes, murders, and destructive acts are testimonies to the plans of the wicked. Some criminals are violent while others use technology to steal identities and defraud businesses and individuals. Terrorists motivated by hatred are constantly looking for ways to destroy their enemies. Greed continues to motivate many today. Unscrupulous schemers spread their lies hoping to deceive and cheat naïve victims. Some major corporations defraud investors with deceptive accounting. It is worse when believers plot against each other or family members steal form one another. The sins of Micah’s day continue to appeal to the covetous hearts of sinful human beings today. However, make no mistake; we will suffer from the ruin of our rebellion!

Those who fail to heed the warnings of God’s Word discover that opposing Him always leads to physical, emotional, and spiritual ruin. We can proudly oppose the Lord and be humbled or we can submit humbly to Him. We looked at God’s response to rebellion; the results of rebellion against God; and how we can suffer the ruin of rebellion.

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Pastor Lee Hemen has been the outspoken pastor of the same church for 27 years in Vancouver, WA. He writes regularly on spirituality and conservative causes and maintains several web blogs. This article is copyrighted © 2013 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen, and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.

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Today’s Thoughts, 1 John 4:19

by Pastor Lee Hemen
June 11, 2008

We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

Such a simple verse, yet it carries with is such a huge truth and its implications are far reaching for our lives. In a world where love has been reduced to rutting and acting like mere animals, we have lost sight of what this word truly means. Oh, I have heard the myriad of sermons that discuss ad nausea the different Greek words for “love” in the Bible and in Greek culture. But let’s not go there, yet, if at all. Let’s just talk about what this word is supposed to mean right here, right now.

My father was not one to say the word “love” out loud. He was raised during a time when men were men and not some mannequin with coiffed hair, a shiny suit, and flashy pearly white teeth. It was a time when men were measured by their word as it was followed up in action, not in a “I feel your pain” phoniness. Love of country was shown by the sacrifice of hearth and home and of self if necessary. Love of family was demonstrated by hard work, telling the truth, being faithful and having integrity. Love for God was shown in loyalty to church, attendance, and selfless-giving of time, talent, and treasure. Excuses were not made, never uttered, and were seen as weakness for those who would rather whine than do what was expected of them. And, folks, this is why I love Jesus.

I love Jesus because He shows us what a real man is to be like. He is the epitome of manliness and the demonstration of what I just described above. When I looked at Jesus and His life for the first time without having some priest or pastor tell me who Jesus was, I was astounded. Astounded that they never described for me the actual man, Jesus. He always came across as some wimp who went about being a goodie-two-shoes, soft-spoken, thin, kind of all knowing ethereal human being. Ugh! Double ugh! I was shocked to learn that Jesus was a lot like the real men I grew up with and admired. He was loyal, full of integrity, always spoke the truth, was bold, strong, had a great sense of purpose and self worth and loved to laugh at Himself and others. Sadly, much of Christianity has lost who Jesus truly is: love. Love just like these men were and are that I described earlier. I read a popular book about Christian men, and I will not give out the name of it nor its author in order to graciously protect him. While it had some good things within its pages, it was full of a lot of Christian psychobabble. I ended up throwing the book away, because I did not want anyone else to ever read the copy I owned. I also tore the pages out of it first just to make sure no one would ever piece it together and read the tripe it contained!

However, I love Jesus because He had the audacity to first love me. When I was truly unlovable, a sinner, depraved, and utterly contemptible in the sight of God, Jesus loved me. How do I know this to be true? Well look at His actions. Look at His oneness of purpose. How He kept His word, joked, laughed, and boldly did the hard task without whining and expected His followers to do the same and even more! This was no “I feel your pain, so I guess I will die for you,” kind of selfishness. It was a resolute act of will whereby His total life lead to one moment in time that He knew He would have to face alone, where even those who followed Him would desert Him. Yet He followed through to the end. He took the hill, He kept His word, He willing did the tough thing and did it without analyzing it to death.

People want to focus on Jesus’ tears as if this will make Him more “sensitive” in their perspective. How He wept over Jerusalem, His friend Lazarus’ death, His own fear in the garden and how that will somehow make Him seem smaller and more sensitive and thereby feminize Him more. Jesus’ tears were never offered that way. No real man’s tears ever are. It has nothing to do with not being afraid to cry in public as a man. Men know what to shed tears over. Love of country, friends you love, family, and those you sacrifice yourself for. Isn’t this what Jesus did?

I love Jesus because as a man He first loved me and showed me just what a man is. Not through words alone, but in His life and how He lived it. My love for Him is demonstrated in my own life through my actions of being a Godly man. I follow my leader who was and is a real man. Do you?

NOTE: This article is copyrighted by Pastor Lee Hemen © 2008 and the property of Pastor Lee Hemen. You are welcome to copy it, email it, or use it but please if you copy it, email it, or use it you must do so in its entirety.

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